During an appearance on Lilian Garcia’s podcast, former WWE star Melina spoke out about suicide and depression…
“I hated life. When it comes to depression, when it comes to thinking about suicide it’s a series of events. It’s not something that just happens. Not just a series of events but also a series of things you tell yourself,” she said. “You think about the people around you and you tell yourself they are better off without you. A lot of times the people who care and have the biggest hearts are the ones that say ‘everybody’s lives would be better if I wasn’t here.’”
“I got better and then hit another form of depression when I got raped again. Everything started falling apart. I didn’t want to leave the house. I couldn’t socialize because I kept thinking no matter what scenario I kept thinking what if something happens? I was paranoid, scared and really couldn’t trust people. I again started wanting to die. I couldn’t get up out of bed in the morning. I didn’t have my family because my family didn’t understand anything I was going through. If anything, it would make me feel bad to tell my family and then break their hearts or be a disappointment. I didn’t really have friends because sometimes when you have relationships, you push people away. I’m big on my family and friends nowadays because I never want to push my friends again.”
She continued, “I was alone, depressed and my dog saved my life. He was the reason why I got up in the morning. I would drink myself to oblivion. I would pray that maybe I’ll have a heart attack, maybe I’ll die. I’d say crazy ass things to myself in my head thinking I just wish it would all end. Because I didn’t, I was in my head telling myself I was a coward for not trying to commit suicide again. I hated my life. I would look at my dog’s face and he didn’t understand what was going on. He’d just get closer and closer and look at me with concern. Then I’d look at that little face and I’d say ‘I don’t deserve you.’”
